I’ll never forget the day on St James Park back in July of 2024 when I threw the Ball for Issy and Poppy chased her.
I’d had Poppy for 7 months and never seen her run because her previous owner didn’t exercise her as much. It made me choke up then and it makes me cry now. She was so happy.
Of course though as time has gone on running became more difficult but she has always loved coming out on walks so we got the Pops mobile and that gave her a new lease on life.
But sadly as time always does, it’s taken it’s toll and her manageable health conditions have become unmanageable. It’s no longer possible to keep her comfortable and we must do the humane thing.
We visited the vet yesterday and she agreed with pain management a few more days will be fine to give her many friends time to say goodbye.
When we got home I packed her up in the Pops mobile and went for a lovely walk. I ran into a neighbour on the way heading out with his dogs. He asked how I was an I was obviously upset so had to tell him. He changed his walk pattern and said ‘I’ll walk with you’. Was really lovely.
Then I sat down on the couch, Issy on my left, and Poppy on my right. She fell asleep hard on my hand and as it went numb I dare not move it for the fear of losing a precious moment.
We had a few visitors last night, people and dogs of course and a few more tonight and tomorrow, then on Thursday we’ll be taking the final visit to the vet.
On the vets advice Issy will becoming with us because they say the surviving dog in a situation like this deals with death better than abandonment which is what the disappearance of Poppy would feel like.
Poppy is OK she’s distressed a lot so I need to stay by her side but that’s OK that’s one of my favourite places. We’re having a few accidents because her bowel control isn’t as good. But she’s still eating and cuddling a lot and eating more pigs in blankets than a dog really should but she deserves them. At this stage I’m happy to keep Thursday as the date but am keeping close eye on her.
I can’t stop crying which is worrying me because I don’t want to upset Issy. She’s being an absolute angel. Her usual crazy Springer nature has given way to a placid thoughtful soul who’s curling up next to me, and she looks like she’s constantly watching me as if to say ‘I know something’s wrong so I’m just going to be calm now, normal programming will resume in time’.
Once this is over I’ll be taking her on an epic walk to her favourite park and she will be getting all the sausage she can eat for Breakfast. Just for one day, a girl has to watch her figure.
I have a dear friend taking the day off work and coming with me on Thursday. Appropriately the friend who introduced me to Poppy. I’m not sure I could do this without her.
I know some people find it impossible to go in with the dogs in this situation and I mean no insult to them but I could never do that.
The last thing Poppy will smell will be me, and the last thing she will feel will be my embrace so she feels safe. She’s always felt safe in my arms.
I’ve called this post the Slow Goodbye but in reality I don’t know how to say goodbye. Maybe I’ll think of something for the next post. Oh God how I wish I didn’t need to write the next post.
xx
